


Tonight My Heart's On The Loose

by strawbunny_mochi



Category: Total Drama (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, Courtney Gets Vicious, Courtney knows Spanish, Cruise Ships, Duncan learned a bit of Spanish just for her, Duncan's Shitty Dad, Duncney - Freeform, Enemies to Lovers, Except Author Knows Nothing About Cruise Ships, Except There's Bitterness There, F/M, Fluff, I guess that counts?, I'm Aimlessly Tagging Here, Implied/Referenced Cheating, In which Duncan didn't Really Cheat but no one Knows this, Just Communicate Fools, Maybe friends?, Mutual Pining, Neither of them got over eachother, Please Just Talk You Two I'm Begging You're Adults For Fucks Sake, Then back to enemies, They're Confusing Really, This takes place Years later, Total drama island - Freeform, You Know Just Your Usual Shit, fast forward, help them, honestly fuck canon, they're both mean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:48:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24071677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawbunny_mochi/pseuds/strawbunny_mochi
Summary: Courtney has Tried to be with people since the absolute Trainwreck that was Total Drama Island and... She couldn't even bring herself to say his name.Of course, it never worked.A very deserving and tired lawyer boards a cruise ship for a needed vacation funded by her law firm, but... Why does she keep thinking she's seeing flashes of neon green? Is she hallucinating?The answer is no. Now you're trapped on a boat with this man, and who knows how long you'll be stuck here for. Good luck Court.
Relationships: Courtney/Duncan (Total Drama)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	1. 505

**Author's Note:**

> Fuck canon but also using pieces of canon it’s confusing at the start just roll with it (also yeah I threw in a dash of noncanon characters just to add Flavor suck it Up)
> 
> Guide to Noncanons:  
> Olivia (Nicknamed Liv by Courtney): works with Courtney at the Law Firm
> 
> (Also! Every chapter is a song title, not any real patterns but they're on Duncney playlists I vibe to while writing!)
> 
> ALSO I HAVE NO CLUE HOW TO BOLD OR ITALICIZE? ITALICISE? IDK I JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO DO IT ON AO3

It had been years since the events on television had unfolded. But it felt like they followed her everywhere she went. Sure she was still friends with a select few contestants, namely Bridgette and Geoff (they were near impossible to get rid of even if you tried, she knew any efforts would be futile so she didn’t even bother). But nonetheless, she did everything in her power to erase the aftereffects of the show. Changing her last name even, just for added precaution.

Courtney _refused_ to let Total Drama catch up to her, it represented all her failures, and that was something she couldn’t acknowledge. Even years of therapy couldn’t erase all the bullshit that the show had put her through. Part of her wondered if she was the only one still affected this badly. Geoff and Bridgette seemed to be living a perfectly peaceful life, a nice little malibu beach house, dogs, and each other. Just as sickeningly in love as they were before.

It felt like it was a hallucination sometimes, some sick and twisted fever dream. The only thing that convinced her it was real was the face she saw in all of her future lovers. That same gut-wrenching grin. Same piercing eyes that she couldn’t ever escape. Despite not having seen him in years, he never fucking left her. It made her sick to this very day.

Speaking of being sick! Almost as if on queue she felt the boat rock and winced as the fair-skinned girl beside her retched her GUTS up on this cruise ship. “Liv…” She began, adjusting her grip on the girl’s fiery hair, attempting to keep it out of the… The situation that had formed. “You knew the business trip was on a cruise ship… You know you get seasick, I can’t hold your hair back the whole trip”

This was bullshit and they both knew it. As long as Olivia didn’t get in the way of any of Courtney’s cases she’d stay here and help her as much as she needed. She was simply causing a fuss. Because it was Court and that’s just what she seemed to do best, whether she intended it or not. Besides, this was a BREAK for the business. They were supposed to take a well-deserved BREAK. Everyone made sure to drill these words into Courtney’s head before heading off. As if she was that much of an imbecile that she didn’t know what a break was, what… Did they think she was that pathetic?

And yet… Here she sat, the first hour into the cruise and all she had done was console her vomiting friend and coworker. So really… Was this a break? She was still pushing aside things she could do for herself to help other people. As per usual… Ever the “mom friend” she supposed.

But it got boring… Frankly, it got lonely. She tried to fill the void but… A clash of neon green and black flashed through her mind and it took everything within her not to shudder. Well! We all knew how filling the void went. So maybe she was just better off alone, that way no one could ever possibly disappoint her. No one but herself of course.

She could only hope that her life would continue to be this painfully mediocre until the day she died. She didn’t know if her heart could handle another incident. Maybe that would be how she finally went. Morbid Court, **Morbid**. Not like it wasn’t something she dwelled on far too often. Another reason she so adamantly attempted to avoid anything to do with the God-Forsaken Total Drama Island.

Anyway! Right… Liv. She croaked out a reply eventually “Courts… Don’t worry about me for fuck’s sake go have _fun_ for once”. After at least an hour’s worth of bickering on the topic with the occasional puke break between statements, it was decided. Courtney had no excuse to lurk about her room anymore, she had to go out and socialize. She could only pray there was someone she would recognize for her to chat with.

Tonight there seemed to be festivities abound. Not that she really knew what to expect from a cruise ship but this seemed…… a bit much. Maybe everyone was right after all. Maybe she really did have a stick up her ass. If this was considered fun… Well… She hadn’t dived in yet, she was frankly overwhelmed at the moment.

Better now than never. The night went fairly smoothly. There was a moment that stuck with her though. That same flash of neon green and black that she had seen earlier. Not that it mattered to her. There was no way he could be on the same cruise she was on. The odds were lower than low could convey.

So she pushed it out of her mind. Attempting to get a decent night’s rest after swaying along to the beat of the music and the rocking of the boat. She had felt eyes on her all night, but it was nothing new. The curves of her figure were something she knew she had and by now she embraced. Becoming used to men and women alike ogling. It wasn’t unknown territory to her.

But something nagged at her, tugging in the back of her mind. What? She hadn’t the slightest. But it had her tossing and turning. After a few hours of this, she accepted she wasn’t getting _any_ sleep tonight. Beginning to drag her sorry ass out of the bed. She grabbed the first jacket she laid eyes upon before leaving her room, knowing the salty seawater would make the outside air cold. Shrugging her trench on, she fled her room. Maybe a walk outside could clear her head.

So she went for a short walk, eventually leaning against the railing of the balcony and looking out at sea. Just reminiscing over her life when suddenly she heard the last thing she expected to hear.

“...Princess?”

Her blood went cold. Her eyes went wide. Anything but this. Anything but him. Clearing her throat and attempting to shift her voice a bit, but all it came out as was her voice cracking. “I’m sorry, you must be mistaken”.

“Nope, don’t think so, besides you always were a horrible liar. I’d recognize those brown eyes anywhere” Great, one of the parts of her she didn’t try to change and it’s what gave her away. Fucking hell Courtney how would you get yourself out of this situation now?

Reluctantly, she paused. Not having entirely realized she had gone to leave the situation until he called her out on being a horrible liar. “... Fine, hello Duncan” Her tone went icy cold in a matter of moments. Part of her wanted to go back to her cabin PRONTO but she couldn’t tell if it was because she was tired just by these few seconds of interaction or if it’s because she wanted to escape.

“Well someone sure seems happy to see me” His tone was joking, she knew he was trying to lighten the mood, but it rubbed in all the wrong ways.

“Yeah, super happy to see my cheating dick of an ex on my break” Her tone remained just as cold as before, but now with added venom. There was some bark there now. It showed that he registered her words too. He almost looked hurt.

“Can we just… Talk Courtney?” Was he fucking pleading with her now?

“Why? Upset I called you out again?”

A hand dragged down his face as he tried to breathe. She felt her own face heating up. God, she hadn’t felt this amount of pure unadulterated rage in years and she’d be lying if she said she didn’t miss it. Not really the rage though… She missed… Feeling. This was a feeling, and it was so strong she was almost entirely overwhelmed.

“Answer me Duncan” Now she was just getting snippy. Cocky about feeling like she held the power in the situation. Everyone knew how power-hungry she was back on the show, that mighty beast had begun to rear it’s head all over again and it was all his fault.

“No! That’s not it, for fuck’s sake Court can we please just talk like adults!” Both of them had begun to raise their voices. Lashing out seemed to be their go-to method of communication. Especially after the incident with Gwen.

“Oh great, now you want to be all civil and talk like adults. Too little too late” She turned on her heel and began to walk off. Just escape the situation, you’re not thinking clearly. This is all probably a nightmare, right? The statistical probability that he would also be on this same ship at the same time is beyond low. So there’s no way this was real. Just walk away and wake up Courtney.

She hadn’t realized that her nails were digging into the palms of her hands until she felt his hand on her arm. “Princess-” Clearly he hadn’t thought That move through. Because she whipped about, tearing his hand off of her. Tears were already streaming down her cheeks. After all those years she had mastered the art of silently sobbing. Flashing a scowl at him before practically growling the words,

“You _disgust_ me you insufferable bastard”

That got him to let go, and quickly too. He looked incredulous for a mere moment as if he couldn’t believe the words that had just come from her mouth. Being frank she didn’t believe them either. But that didn’t stop her from maintaining that eye contact for a moment longer. Dark eyes, like pits of tar, unwavering from his bright and blazing teal eyes, reminiscent of seafoam. God, she could get l- No. Never again, you know how that ends with him. After that moment's pause, she whipped about once again and properly fled. Leaving him standing there, puzzling over what exactly had just happened.

That night? She slept well. Turns out crying helps with that. Not a single thought about him! Not a single dream about bashing his shit-eating grin in. Or yanking his stupid green hair. Or tenderly cupping his cheek as they both leaned in, eager and expectant an-

Oh! There went her alarm.


	2. Sweater Weather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lmao it's been so long since i've updated i'm sorry i have depression gimme a Moment
> 
> anyway! last chapter was fairly... Big! this chapter might be a bit softer but don't let it fool you court is still just as upset as earlier. whether it's truly deserved is up in the air though. anyways! here you all go have some flashback sequences 
> 
> dreamily plays the harp

_"Hey babydoll, catch"  
  
  
_ The all too familiar voice called out to her as she snapped to attention, quickly holding out her arms. Almost unthinking, completely trusting he wasn't about to throw something obscene. Which looking back? Maybe she shouldn't have been so certain. But these were simpler times, and she was right to trust him at that moment.   
  
She caught something that seemed... Soft. Like fabric. It was dark too, so she looked at what she held in her hands finally, thanking whatever gods there were that he hadn't just tried to nail her in the head with a fish or something. It was... A hoodie? So she spared him a quizzical glance. "A hoodie?" she voiced back at him.  
  
There was that ever so familiar smug grin on his lips. But there was a bit of bashfulness behind it this time. Something in the way his cheeks got a bit red at the admission. "Yeah, it's... My hoodie. If you don't want it that's alright I just-"  
  
Verbally? She didn't reply. But in one swift motion, she shrugged his hoodie on. It was a bit large for her, makes sense since he was taller. But once she'd done that she looked up at him and smiled. His expression was initially difficult to read. But after a beat of what she could only assume was shock, he softened. Breathing a little laugh out of his nose before he scooped her up in his arms.   
  
Out of sheer habit, she wrapped her legs around him, clinging so she could ensure he didn't drop her. Not that he ever would. He wouldn't let her down like that. Arms draped around the back of his neck as he spun them both about. Laughter bubbling from her lips before she gently rested her forehead on his. In that moment she finally understood what bliss was. How peaceful the world could really be. How being in the right atmosphere could even make the worst of thoughts dim. Not even thinking about the competition, no winning or fighting. Just the here and now.  
  
For once she was completely content with her life.   
  
Days turned into weeks, things weren't always perfect but by the end of it all a lot of the shit they would pull was all for the cameras. Which... Having them following you around at almost all hours? Not creepy or anything. Fuck you Chris.   
  
But yet again, they always talked things through. Worked everything out. Their relationship seemed way more rocky on television than it really was. Duncan was honestly fairly soft and sweet, if caught under the right circumstances. From time to time she was even willing to make compromises for him. Neither of them were as unwavering as they really appeared.   
  
Don't believe what you see on T.V.  
  
Little notes were passed between the two of them, things they wanted to say but didn't want the cameras to hear. The public didn't need to know everything! She was glad to have built up this much trust with someone. To feel like she could be honest and herself. Know someone would support her in her goals and call her out when she went overboard. Someone who wasn't afraid of her ambition.  
  
Then it all went to hell when the girl she'd considered one of her closest friends did something unspeakable.  
  
Of all people, she never would've expected Gwen, or Duncan really. Hurt was an understatement.   
  
But seeing them kiss had broken her. Hearing Duncan quickly calling out her name, his voice even broke. That almost hurt even more. But she didn't turn around. Absolutely livid.  
  
In all technicalities they never had a proper breakup chat. So she still had the letters and the hoodie, not to mention the skull he'd given her. But everyone knew by morning exactly what had happened. The rest was history.   
  
Yet she couldn't help but fondly reminisce for a moment as her hands brushed over the hoodie she'd packed with her on this trip. Despite all the background, it was still a comfort object for her. Something she held to calm her down. Which was what she needed at the moment. To just calm the fuck down. So she shrugged it on and called out to her friend. "Going for a walk! Don't wait up" There was no reply. But she assumed she was heard.   
  
A breath of fresh air. Everywhere seemed too cramped. Too many eyes. So instead she just looked out to the water, thousands of things were out there. People still didn't know all the exacts about it, but they were there! For some reason, for once in her life. She seemed to find comfort in that unknown. Even a longing to lead a life like that.   
  
Seemingly, she had been too caught up in her fantasies, as she heard a voice and went rigid.  
  
"Is that... _My hoodie?_ "  
  
She was so screwed.


End file.
